


or it can be over

by mag003 (MMagpieMcCorkle)



Series: the ghost who walks, she's on the prowl [4]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, F/F, Light Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Original Character-centric, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMagpieMcCorkle/pseuds/mag003
Summary: When she kisses her, it's like an apology.(Honey's POV)
Relationships: Naoko Katagawa/Original Character(s)
Series: the ghost who walks, she's on the prowl [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731622
Kudos: 1





	or it can be over

**Author's Note:**

> tw: implied/referenced paedophilia in Honey's history, as well as child death

Naoko is like an all-consuming force even when they're not fucking, or making love, or canoodling, or playing around. Even in Naoko's quiet moments, in their shared privacy, in their entwined sleep, she's a bubble, an entity of something unshatterable. Perhaps it's something Honey needs to unpack, this belief and feeling that Naoko is such a large presence -- contrary to Naoko's acquired distaste for being seen -- and she will, eventually. She puts it off, though, because there's not enough time -- work as an Atlas soldier, the looming threat of Maliwan and Naoko's shitty little brother and his big ol' death laser, small comforts to maintain. There's a lot going on without having to dissect her -- and Naoko's -- feelings.

* * *

"Is it..." Naoko clamps her mouth shut again.

It's something they share, the burning need to unburden all the terrible things they'd witnessed, all the horror they'd been forced to endure, and the preemptive guilt of burdening another with their mountain of tales. Something they need to work on, they both know that.

Naoko stares into the bathroom mirror. Honey politely (or is she a coward?) looks away, brushing her teeth absentmindedly.

Naoko's the first to break the pause, push past the barrier that traps her, the barrier that she built with her family's leftover materials. "Do you still want to be with me? I know I'm a lot." It's not just from a place of insecurity, Honey knows that very well because she feels the exact same, and it's not just from Naoko's shying away from being a presence of any sort, but it's an offer: Honey can always leave if she wants to. Honey does not want to leave, and clings instead to one of the few good things that remain.

(For all that anyone and anything is "good", anyway. Neither of them really have a say in the matter.)

Honey clasps her fiancee's hand, as she always does. "There's no-one else I want."

And when Honey trembles over the same, Naoko will assure her she does not ever want to leave.

* * *

There's certain sex positions and acts that Honey refuses to do, and Naoko listens eagerly to her. Always kind, and sweet, and asking. Never demanding. Sometimes, she's even funny.

It's such a welcome change from Peter.

(Honey thinks it's unfair that her own little brother should die at a monster's hands, while Junior gets to live it up and party hard on the Zanara.)

* * *

They both got a little distant look in their eyes, sometimes, during sex. Naoko assured her before that nothing's happened to her in _that_ regard, and Honey believes her, but it does... unnerve her. Naoko'd laughed drily and said it might be to do with her control issues, having no autonomy as a Maliwan asset lending into every aspect of her post-Maliwan life (and even before that, even before she ran free).

Honey... thinks too much. Not always about Peter (at least, not directly, sometimes dancing around the idea of him), but sometimes her brother, only twelve-years-old, or her sisters who may or may not be dead, or her parents who are definitely dead and how she failed to protect her siblings in the aftermath. Naoko kisses her gently at her jaw, a soft and gradual reminder of the real and present world, hips stilled because that's not what Honey needs. She burrows her head into Naoko's shoulder. She could stay there forever, if Naoko lets her; she knows Naoko would let her, and she'd return the same.

* * *

When she kisses her, it's like an apology. For all the tangled mess of her family, her lingering attachment to her younger brother. An apology for not being able to let go. A squashed plea to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> title from CHVRCHES' "Recover"
> 
> this is rushed but uh i love Honey :( my poor girl. both of them, really; they're both going through it
> 
> edit: might re-do this at some other point bc i wrote this before work and uh. it's So rough and choppy -_- even for me and i only do first-drafts usually (second drafts who???). hm.


End file.
